2007

DANCE TO SAIL

Its’07, the gorgeous Isabella, my crew/mate, a Cartagena, Colombia lawyer, Thalia and I have arrived in the Galapagos, nice crossing, no clear in issues. The next day a German flagged +/- 35’ sloop is towed in, I make a mental note to see if I could help and promptly forgot all about it. This aging thing is not going all that well. The following day I heard a German accent talking on the radio about valves, head gaskets, etc. I waited until the end and introduced myself “Is there anything I can do to help?” “Not unless you’re a mechanic” Came the response “Well, actually I am.” I venture. “Can you come over and look at something, please?” Sure, see you in 30 min” Arriving at Eric’s boat I found a wife, young child, and a 3 cylinder Volvo with the head off, Eric told me that the engine started making a weird noise and shut it down. He tracked the problem to, I think, an intake valve which had lost its keeper collets and was going up and down on top of the piston. “Wow, I’ve never seen that before” I said enthusiastically “ Usually that would result in a hole in the piston crown, bent valves. Are you ever lucky” “You call this lucky? You’d love a good cancer scare” said Eric bitterly “No listen man, that should have trashed the engine. All we have to do is get another head gasket and some collets and it’ll run. You’ve just gotten away with murder””Really?” He says, skeptically “But we have to take it apart, my Volvo expert in Germany tells me we have to inspect for damage” “Oh yeah” Now I sound skeptical “Yeah the guy in Germany wants the pistons out and the cylinder bores inspected” I do my best to explain to Eric just why taking out the pistons is the last thing we want to do, rings, cylinder hone, no machine shop, parts, etc. Forget it, his personal Volvo deity had spoken and that was all, he’d even said we could cross hatch the cylinder bores with 120 sandpaper. “Ok if that’s what you want let’s get started!” Three hours later we had the engine in the cockpit and an hour later we had it apart.

When Eric had arrived he’d, of is course, told Immigration that he had an engine problem when he cleared in, the Galapogos only gave 10 days, back then, and I’m pretty sure they heard engine problems a bunch of times each week, it’s the oldest, worst excuse in the book. So as Eric and I had a celebratory beer, a panga of officials arrive wanting to see the engine “problem.” “ Como no, el motor es aqui” I said “Madre de Dios, tienes una problema veridad” They went on to tell Eric that he had as long as it took to fix his motor and if he had problems bringing parts in he was to ask for their help. Nice guys, probably enjoyed a real problem, instead of the ever-popular “dirty fuel.”

“Well Eric, I’ll leave you all the tools you’ll need to put her back together, I need to bring you a torque wrench” I said as cleaned up the tools Eric wouldn’t need. “Wait a sec, you’re going to help me put it back together, right?” asks Eric edging on panic “No Eric, my visa will be up before your parts arrive, I’ve only got 8 days left and this was a good day to help you as everyone else has gone scuba diving and I couldn’t go due to this big wahoo inspired hole in my foot.” (See Doctor In The Boat?) “I’ll get an extension for you as well, you can be my engineer” now you can hear the panic. “C’mon Eric, that’ll never fly, that’s why I made you do all the work, so you’d be able to put it together, that’s why you’re dirty and I’m clean, besides you’ve got the workshop manual, you’ll be fine, no one gets a call from God to go out and fix Volvos, they’re mostly people who didn’t finish school and still need money.” ”But that manual is in German.” He shrieks desperately. “Umm, that’s your native language, man.” I said reasonably. “But I can’t put it together by myself, I’m not a mechanic, I’m a dance instructor.” My initial impulse would be to burst into laughter, so I stifled it, it wasn’t easy. “ Look man,” I said at my most persuasive, “you’ll be fine, it’s not rocket science.”

Two months later I was in Nuku Hiva, Marquesas, I’m working on another Volvo (See Engines) and I look up at the call of my name and there’s Eric puttering by waving. “You’re a Volvo mechanic.” I yell. Eric, his wife and daughter break into an impromptu victory dance on the bow while pumping their fists.

If I’m …