2016

WOODWORKING

So it’s ’16, Thalia and I are working our way down the west coast of Costa Rica, I pulled into Golfito, at the bottom of Costa Rica for 2 reasons, I had to clear out and the venerable bracket a friend and I had built in ’96 in Trinidad, that mounted the high pressure watermaker pump and alternator has broken and I can’t maintain belt tension. Lovely. I’m in the rainy season and Golfito is living up to it’s reputation for being wet, it’s raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock. Golfito is a funny little one road town that winds past 1 gas station, 2 family run mini supermarkets and more bars than I’ve seen anywhere in the last 3 countries. It reminds me for all the world of Steinbeck’s Cannery Row, where, I hope I paraphrasing correctly, “it’s full of whores, thieves and saints.” Plus just in case you’re not” living in interesting times” my 2nd ever bout of sciatica is in full bloom. So in disgust I limp into, yeah you know where this is going, a really dumpy bar where I know I’ll feel at home. I meet a couple of cruisers there, Rick and Ray, Rick doesn’t actually have a boat at this point. So I ask where I can get this bracket welded, easy answer, and where I can get some teak milled to my specifications. I wanted to build a cockpit grate, after 25 yrs my non skid is smooth, heavily scarred and slippery when wet. “What do you want to build” asks Rick and I describe my transverse slats idea. “ Well, I’m a shipwright, I have a lot of teak” he explained “But that’ll look like a bucket of crushed assholes, I don’t want to get involved, I hate ugly work” he said laconically, signaling for another rum. “I don’t want you involved, I just need the stuff milled I’ll cut, epoxy and screw it myself” I protest. “Sorry, can’t help ya” he drawls. “Ok, what’s your idea” I counter “A traditional grate with fore/aft and side/side pieces” he says “Ya may as well do it pretty as ugly” he says smiling and signaling for another rum. I need to buy shares in Bacardi, this dude can put them away. “How much do you think that would cost” I ask with my best smiling telling the bartender to put the rum on my tab. “Need to see the project” hard to argue with that. The next day we head out to Thalia and Rick goes through my options, we agree on a design and again I ask for a price. “That’s a tough one” he allows “Better to start the job and see how it goes, if you help it’ll knock the price down” Now this isn’t my 1st rodeo and I know if you allow that to happen you may be opening yourself up for a world of hurt, when you get the final bill you don’t pay it, you just give the guy your boat and hope that’ll cover the damage. But I got a good feeling from Rick and reluctantly agreed to proceed promising feelingly to do all the work under his supervision using his tools. Of course I’m glossing over the fact that the sciatica is preventing me from standing upright for more than 3 minute periods.

Somewhere around day 3 of the project, I’m still pestering Rick for a price, it’s Sunday, a day of rest, but he/we have worked a short day. I’ve brought him a bottle of Bacardi ( Ray took me to the border, litres of Bacardi at $5/ea, I invested heavily) as an early Christmas/soften him up present, he’s roaring drunk, but still a nice guy and he gives me a price of $300 for my grate. My jaw drops, I spill my rum, and say “Man, that seems a little light” “Nah, I’ll be Ok, be better to drink that s**t than pour it on your crotch, kind of a sin” he slurs.

Work proceeds, as does the rain, it’s been raining pretty much steadily the whole time I’ve been there. To repair the bracket I need to lift the motor, it’s below the floor on Thalia. We finally get a clear 4 hrs and Ray handles the winches and we pull it out in under an hour using 2 halyards. Again, not my 1st rodeo. I take the bracket to a welder and he knocks it out in a day, seriously reinforcing where it comes off the engine bearers. So now I just need to paint the bracket, wait for a break in the weather and allow Rick another day or 2 to complete what is obviously a thing of beauty. He hasn’t allowed me to touch the grate, because I’m pretty sure he’s figured out I’m a wood butcher, which is true, not my medium, I’d rather rebuild a diesel than rip a board. The grate isn’t finished, but I already know I can’t put it on Thalia, it’ll shine like a diamond in a goats ass. Maybe if I make it dirty?

Work continues, as does the rain, now even the locals are complaining. The day after Ray and I successfully installed the engine in the middle of the salon my Honda inverter/generator died, after 5 yrs of doing yeoman service along with a 40 amp battery charger, I can’t get it to run out, it doesn’t appear to be a dirty carb, the usual problem, as the fuel filler cap is an internal ball of rust and probably the tank as well, adding fuel filters, in series has never been effective and I’ve gotten carb cleaning down to a rapid process that I often have to repeat a couple of times. But this time it seems different. It sounds like an ignition problem. Wonderful, the thing is so cunningly constructed I had to watch a You Tube video to learn how to take it apart, who’dve thought that you could hide a plastic latch under the fuel filler. With a heavy heart I unload my fridge/freezer contents into Rick’s fridge/freezer, the heavy heart comes from the certainty I’ll never see the food again. Rick’s dog has just had puppies, a street dog that wandered in heavily pregnant and recognized Rick as a soft touch, she won’t eat dog food, so he feeds her people food, except I know just how dire his financial state is. I’d just caught a lovely cero mackerel and was looking forward to blackened fish along with other delights. So was the Lucy the dog, except she didn’t seem to care for the blackened spice. A couple of days later Ray came to me with news of another Honda gen for $500, we went and looked at it and with no negotiation I handed over $500, this thing is really cherry. I figured I’d eventually have time to fix the old one and sell it. I started up Thalia’s fridge/freezer and a couple of days later reinstalled a freezer burned piece of chicken and some hot dogs that apparently both Rick and Lucy eschewed. The engine is still in the salon, but the bracket is now painted and we’re ready to drop the 27 hp Yanmar back into place. I’m anticipating a huge improvement in the quality of life, sciatica or no.

The engine is in and running, the cockpit grates are much prettier installed in Thalia then I’d anticipated and it’s a fair bit of regret I bid farewell to my friends in Golfito and head further south to Puerto Armuelles, Panama for check in and on to Boca Chica where I hope to find a mooring for Thalia while I head back to Canada to argue with my government on the legitimacy of my claim for a pension. So now I’ve time to deal with the non running Honda. I find yet another hidden carb drilling, blow it out with carb cleaner and hey, presto, now I’ve got 2 of the damned things. Know anybody who wants to buy one? George and Thalia

“If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’”